our warm welcome

A few months after we were settled in our new home, we got a phone call. The phone call was from the local welcome wagon lady. She wanted to welcome us to our new city/home and she wanted to arrange a time when she could come over and drop off a basket of goodies! Great.

So, the day came and she pulled up in the driveway. She was whispering when she stepped inside my home, after she rung the door bell, and I could barely hear her. I asked her if she could speak up because I was unable to hear what she was saying and I was sick and tired of asking, "can you please say that again?". She thought my children would awake if the talked in a loud tone. That was nice of her.

So, I thought she was going to drop off some stuff like she originally told me over the phone. Well, not the case. She plopped herself down, after giving herself a tour of the first floor, at my kitchen table. So, kindly I plopped myself down next to her. I wasn't prepared for her to want to stay and chit chat, but okay, whatever.

So, her "drop off packet of information" visit turned into a 25 minute conversation. She went through, paper by paper of all the places we could go around our area. The funny thing is, all this information was about a nearby city, and not the city we currently live in. So kindly I asked her where the information on Grafton was...she looked at me funny and said, "there are some things in here". She then said, "well, did you check out the new Target and PetSmart up the road?"

Great Welcome Wagon lady, I think I've been to target 100 times already and Pet Smart is not a place I visit because as you can clearly see I do not have any pets. Again I asked, "where is the information on Grafton". She then handed me a library card information sheet to fill out. I kindly told her I already have a card. She then handed me over a DMV license form to fill out, and I kindly told her I already changed my address on my license. She then handed me a form to Crossroads Church and she went on a soapbox and tried to convince me and my family to join services and I said, No thank you. She then started drilling me about why I didn't' want to check out her church and tried to convince me there are good people there and there are really good people who live in my city and she really thinks we should try it. She would introduce me to all her friends etc. etc. etc. I said, "no thank you, we already belong to a congregation". She then insisted I switch to Crossroads Church and give them a try....etc. etc. etc. I said, "well, we wouldn't fit in there because we are raising our family Jewish". She shut the hell up so fast I saw her bottoms of her feet twitter.

Phew, dodged that one...now what was going to come out of her mouth....

After another 10 ish minutes of her preaching about things I already knew about (I mean come on, I already have been here for 2 months....) she asked me if I had any questions...
I asked, "Do you have any information on the public schools?" Her response, "um, well, no, you can call the school to find out information." "Okay, do you have a number?"
"um, no, you'll have to call 411. All you do is pick up the phone, dial 411 and ask the operator to connect you with the Grafton Public School System".
My response (because now I was going to have fun with her)
"really? that is neat. who answers the phone?"
Her "Well, you see, this is a service we have here in Grafton that let's you have access to all the phone numbers in the world".

...moving on...

She was getting ready to pack up her stuff and high tail it out of my house....she was done with me...and I with her, but before she left, she asked me where I moved from. I gave her the story and she said, Jacksonville Florida? How neat! I have tons and tons and tons of family who live in Jacksonville. We visit there all the time.

So, I decided to attack this, "oh really? Where in Jacksonville do you visit?"
Her, "I don't really know...but we do go there all the time"
Me, "do you know any major streets if you visit there all the time?"
Her, "Hwy, something, I always forget"
Me, "when was the last time you visited?"
Her, "Oh dear, many many years ago. I can't even remember."
Me, "I thought you visit there all the time?"
Her, "I'll let you know...I just get so confused."
Her, "Oh and I baked you some brownies that I thought you and the kids would enjoy"

Would you eat these?

Yikes....

She has called me twice since our "drop off session". She also said she will refer my photography business to all the new people who move in the area. She also called telling me about a friend she wants me to meet. She also wanted to know how we liked the brownies.....

....just wait until I post my cleaning lady interview story!